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Love Thy




Denée produces a weekly podcast on the Enneagram. Click the link below to see a list of podcasts and listen on your browser. Or follow on SoundCloud or subscribe on Apple Podcast and receive automatic notices when each new episode is available.

How Love Thy Number Came To Be and What it's All About

Denée King


I make a fantastic lemon raspberry cake and a banana pudding that is to die for! If you’re visiting our home that might be all you need to know about me. :-)


I guess I was always the inquisitive kid, the one who asked ‘why’. On one hand, I’m sure my parents were excited that I wasn’t one to just take the answer at face value. On the other hand, I’m sure it was exhausting at times!


Some of the questions simply scared my mother to death…


Why can’t I jump off the ‘boy’s diving platform’? Why can’t I go to the edge of the Grand Canyon? Why can’t I date the drummer in the traveling band?


Some were questions I asked myself…


Why can’t I grieve like other people? Why can’t we just focus on the positive? Why would I want to lean into pain when I know it will pass? Why can’t I start all the fabulous business ideas I have and just learn as I go?


When I was introduced to the Enneagram over 10 years ago I began to find answers to some of my own questions and it was absolutely liberating! I learned I wasn’t broken or heartless but that I process thinking from a different perspective than many others. I realized my ability (see how I put a positive spin on that? :-) to move, with lightning speed, from one great idea to the next didn’t mean I had ADHD or was scatterbrained! All those revelations just meant I was hard-wired for excitement and variety and I could now learn how to grow into the healthiest form of myself.


Awareness became my greatest gift. 


I discovered the world of personality types and found a common thread with others who had my same fears and motivations. I learned I could continue to ask questions and find new ways of processing life and thought. And I discovered that learning the way other types process thoughts and emotions has helped me bridge the language barrier. That’s really what our ‘type’ is: it’s our native language. But trying to have relationship with those who speak a different language requires effort and a lot of love. This is the true beauty of the Enneagram. It’s a tool to help us know ourselves and, in doing so, we can know others…to love ourselves so we can share love with others. 

Whether you were raised in a faith-centered environment or not, you most likely are familiar with the scripture that says "Love Thy Neighbor" but what we may have missed is the rest of that sentence and, in fact, the tiny word that is the most powerful part of that sentence.



"Love they neighbor AS thyself." It's impossible to give water from an empty cup. Likewise, we will only be able to give love to others to the extent that we love ourselves."Love Thy NUMBER" is a little Enneagram twist on the last part of the phrase. And now you know!

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