• Love Thy Number

Instant Access


Do you want to send a picture to your mom? Guess what? You don’t have to buy a roll of film, take a picture, drop your film off at the little Kodak kiosk, wait 3 days, hope that at least a few of those shots were good, drive back to purchase the developed photos, sift through 15 horrible pictures to find one or two decent ones, put them in an envelope and send them by US Postal service hoping they didn’t get bent by the time they were delivered across country. Today we have so much technology in our hands that we can take as many pictures as we want and just text them anywhere in the world instantly! Instant Joy! And all those poses that are less than flattering? Delete…instantly.

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As an Enneagram type 7 I am all about JOY! And the idea that I can access it in an instant is the best thing about the technology we have at our fingertips.

I realize how old I am when I remember going to college and calling my parents at night to let them know I was safe in my dorm. I would call their house, wait for someone to answer and say “I’m in my dorm. I love you!” And then I’d hang up. Why? Because every minute cost when you had to make a long distance call from Lubbock, Texas to San Antonio. Back then we had what we called “Land Lines.” Actually, that’s not what we called them because those were the only lines - cell phones had not been invented. It was simply called a telephone. Oh and the reason my call was less than 10 seconds was because the phone company didn’t start charging until 15 seconds…or something like that. Maybe my dad just said that so my mom and I wouldn’t talk for hours because my dad was king of running a tight financial ship and time was money!

Yep...that's me!


So, we wrote letters. Not email. Hand written letters. It took time. I missed my parents but I was also busy being a college freshman so good news traveled a little slower. So did bad news. More often than not my ‘bad news’ was something I just had to deal with on my own. I had to decide how I was going to process my hurt feelings, my broken heart, my anger at an obviously unfair teacher (ha!). I had to sit with my feelings (or my grades) and do a lot of self inquiry. Don’t get me wrong, we made phone calls, incurred the charge and valued hearing each other’s voices. Those were special days where news that couldn’t wait was worth 50+ cents a minute. Still I knew the clock was ticking while we talked so we were intentional with how we chose to spend the allotted time. Time was treasured.


As an Enneagram type 7 I find myself in the company of two other types, Enneagram 3 and Enneagram 8, who form what is called the "Assertive Stance" (sometimes also referred to as the "Aggressive Stance".) I like Judy Blackwell's description of the aggressive stance which you can read in its entirety HERE. The Assertive types can be seen as "pushing" against people to make our way in the world, not allowing things (or people) to stand between themselves and their goals." The ability to act or react INSTANTLY can be an asset but left unchecked or reacting from an unhealthy frame of mind can be destructive...just like Instant Access.


Did you read something online that you found offensive or disagree with? Guess what? You can express your anger instantly! Why wait and think before you take action? Why actually talk to someone when you can publicly destroy them in an instant? BAM!!


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Instant Access. Instant joy. Instant pain.


How much time does it take to destroy a relationship? You can do it in an INSTANT!

And the cost? It’s absolutely FREE!! No long distance charge.


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But is it really free? What is the cost of inflicting pain to another human being? Before you access that instant action...take some time. Pause. Treasure that time. Two minutes can make a lifelong difference. Yes, time is money but sometimes you must spend a little to gain a lot. Time could be the very best investment you ever make. And that's a choice you can make....

in an instant!



#Relationships #Time #CancelCulture #Texting #Tweeting #InstantAccess #Longdistancetelephonecall #Selfinquiry #TakeSomeTime #Powerinthepause #Enneagram7 #Enneagram3 #Enneagram8 #EnneagramStances #AggressiveStance #AssertiveStance #ThinkBeforeYouSpeak #ThinkBeforeYouAct




We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others. — John Lennon.

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